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Today started with a slight sinking feeling. I had odd writing related dreams that made me feel questioning about what I was doing. This is a state I don’t normally tolerate whatever shrinking feeling may flit through. Thankfully, the first thing I had to do at my desk was look at the City Library site to find out when my borrowed books are due. I couldn’t.  But what the site did spit up was a list of Deputy Dan copies held by the Christchurch Public Libraries – no fewer than  eleven copies! Nearly all of them were out this morning being read. Being reminded that there are kids out there enjoying my story made me feel lifted, and completed, and freed from my moment of writer’s neurosis.

This was to be the step I trod all day. I went into Drexels, writing in hand to do at breakfast, and Roslyn came over. She confessed, and I  hope she won’t mind me relating, that she had been crying the whole day before.   I asked why and she told me it was just a mood up and down. Conversation shifted on and I started to talk about the eel I had watched in the shallows of the Avon by Mill Island. Roslyn suddenly interjected, telling me ”I think its about finding courage to do what you’re doing” (Roslyn is an amazing young singer). I told her about my moment this morning and that I’d been thinking about those things too, that it was funny how events conspired to encourage you, and that it was important to never let anything stop you if you are driven to follow your muse. I told her the wise words of two friends as she was called away – that courage is inside if you look for it within – and that she must never give up. She left smiling and I think both of us felt lit up by the conversation.

I went to have my car checked and one of the car salesmen of Christchurch Honda approached me and asked me to get and sign a copy of Deputy Dan for him. Then I went to the library to return those borrowings. I found a laminated copy of Deputy Dan front and centre there, and took it up, asking how I could get that form of lamination. I wanted to make my reading copy tougher. The librarian, Marianne, certainly didn’t realise I was the author when she told me how popular that book is. Cue the author dying of thrilled on the library floor. Well, ok, not on the floor or dying but it felt like that in a good way.  Marianne helped me organise getting the book plasticised by the Library bindery and if you ever want a book covered the binders (found in their burrow at the back of the Linwood Council Centre block) are genius. Its well worth the $6-8 they charge for the service. Thanks to them and Marianne.

Eventually, via many errands I won’t relate,  I got home to an e-mail from the good persons running the Sir Julius Vogel Awards this year. They asked me if I would be prepared to accept Deputy Dan’s nomination for ”Best production/publication.” Of course, I not only would be prepared to accept, I am utterly delighted. Thank you to any one reading this who nominated Deputy Dan.

So: a day of affirmation, of positive feedback, of having the universe practically yodel at me to keep doing what I am doing. I feel incredibly grateful and my stock of courage is all topped up.

Today I have written four hundred words on the current chapter of  “Somewhere Else.” It only has twenty-four hours of action left to write.  My pen is to hand.

One Response to “Courage”

  1. Roz Says:

    Hey Sally

    Just read your blog entry and it made my morning. It truly is about acknowledging that inner strength and courage of self each day especially when nothing seems to be encouraging or inspiring. But i find if i truly listen and look there is always something to renew that part of us every day. For me it’s being able to meet wonderful customers at work and have a chat about who and what they are about. I like knowing that we are all connected somehow. makes me feel good and gives me that strength, courage and hope to keep going! I think you and your giftedness are great Sal..of course there will be days of doubt of self worth but never give into it. I know you won’t:)Keep smiling and writing:)

    Till the next

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